Moving On
July 21, 2011

Almost four years ago, at the late age of 22, I started modeling. It was the dream job I'd always wanted; doing exactly what I wanted to do. In my hometown of Biloxi, Mississippi there were no modeling or acting jobs available. So I moved a few states over to Atlanta, Georgia. From the start I immediately immersed myself in learning the organizational culture. I loved it. For nine months I allowed myself to invest my whole life into modeling, working long hours, dreaming of ways to improve and change and develop myself. By the tenth month, with each passing week, maintaining a happy personality was becoming more difficult. By the thirteenth month I was exhausted, emotionally drained, and feeling helpless. Everything I was working towards seemed to be slipping through my fingers. I did not want to cut my losses, I did not want to leave the job I thought I was meant for, but something had to give. I spent the next two months analyzing myself trying to determine whether to stay or go. In the end, I decided to take a break. This is the story of my Journey from the beginning until now:

 Self Analysis

     I believe that when there are problems or conflict, you should always look at yourself first. I looked at my actions and my behavior and asked what I could change about myself to make my system better. I talked to family and friends to get their honest opinions about myself, and how I could improve. I took steps towards a better understanding and made every personal effort to close in the gaps. I spoke with my agency to determine what they thought I should do. After honestly accepting my own mistakes and weaknesses, I acknowledged them, apologized, and worked towards improvement. After several more months of working on myself my will to stay began to falter.

     During my self-analysis, I spent a lot of time thinking about my position in the world and then thinking about my goals, dreams and future, trying to decide if the two matched up. In reality, in order to be the head honcho you have to know how to get the head honcho money. I was losing a lot of money paying someone else to do things I could do on my own. This, I felt, was the main thing holding back my progress towards the top.

     After I analyzed myself and my job, I started looking at the organization as a whole. What worked? What didn't work? What did I like about it? What didn't I like about it? What could reasonably be expected to change? What was so ingrained in the system that it would never change? I did not like the fact that there was little job stability or that it was mainly decided by an organization. For the most part the mission and purpose of the organization was mainly about just making money. I didn't like the management culture. When I really looked at things, the system that had been put in place was one that created personal boundaries and divisions rather than opening minds to new avenues of acceptance. While we each had a boss, there were few true leaders, no overarching organizational goals beyond making money. When I determined that there was a pattern of stagnancy and mediocrity that was ingrained in the organization, that was when I knew I had to leave my career and better myself by learning more.

     Throughout my entire modeling career I always had a second job. Waiting tables was my second passion. I've done other jobs of course. Cooking, accounting, mechanic work, U.S Navy straight out of High School, you name it, but waiting on others sparked an interest for me. I was out and about interacting with others instead of crammed up in an office all day. Yeah, besides modeling, waiting tables is my thing. However, most of the problems I saw in the modeling industry also exist in the food service industry. Do you know what my problem really is? I'm only human. I don't want to work for others and no matter how much I have I always want more. I want more so I can provide others with more.

     Leaving a job you love and that you had once invested yourself in is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do, but when you realize that personal change only gets you so far, that the jobs aren't a long-term position for you, or working for an organization is not a good fit, you know it is time to cut your losses and head a different direction.

     When deciding to walk away from a job, have a backup plan, and make sure you're making that decision for yourself and your future. It's easy to get distracted and discouraged by coworkers or specific circumstances, but take the time and the effort to really analyze whether the problem has a solution, or whether there's a bigger issue. If you take these steps, you're likely to find peace in whatever decision you make regardless of how your decision turns out.

     Over the past two and a half years I have acquired the skill of internet marketing. I now do marketing for myself and others. With each day that passes I am closer to being able to quit waiting tables, start my own business, revolutionize many industries by teaching others how to market themselves, and live my life my way. I hope this letter helped you in some way.

     Thank you for your time.

          Matthew Marvin